is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
