Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
