I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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