Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
