**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
