im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
