Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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