dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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