my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
