so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize