You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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