I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize