i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Acid is not a monday night drug
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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