oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
