found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
