I'm going to jail i love you
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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