The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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