the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize