is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize