Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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