some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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