You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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