he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
