Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
