party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
