I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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