oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
