You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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