Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
