i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
