went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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