Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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