i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
MIDGETS
????
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
