I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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