I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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