after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
