They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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