If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
