tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
