i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize