Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
