Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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