Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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