no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
