lets start a swedish sibling band together
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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