She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
