There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize