My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Are my feet made of real feet?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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