Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
