Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
