Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
