i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
