she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
