I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
