I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
