yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize