only if we run a train.
done.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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