Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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